GETTING OLDER

GETTING OLDER
by Kerrie O'Hearn Marquart

Getting older provides amusement. Bill and I often sit around evenings playing connect the liver spots. I can now do my hair up using 1 curler. I wear soft-toed shoes in case I step on one of my sagging parts....

We keep a porta-potty between us in bed so we don't have to get up all night.
When we are bored and blue, we put our pills in the blender to make spin art prints. Pills for irregularity work really well.

High points of our day consist of:
Fighting fire ant mounds and then we go Outside!
We discuss the neighbors shortcomings, say it is too hot and go back inside.
Nap-time, Yeah!

Securing the house involves locking the screen doors, locks and deadbolts on the front and back doors and a brief drill on how to break a window to get out during a fire because it takes at least 35 minutes to open all the doors again!

After nap-time, we watch the greyhound wag her tail and laugh for 1/2 hour.

Suppertime: "What do ya want for supper?" "I don't know, what do you want?" Conversation goes on and then we go to the K & W Cafeteria. There, we hope we don't die while waiting in line to get to the food. They charge for butter pats, creamers, and having your picture taken with an employee wearing a hair net. On a Senior Day, which is every day, you can make out your will in line with a licensed attorney and everything! If you order collard greens, you are entitled to a free amendment.

Then for the ending of another perfect day, we throw our teeth in a cup, glasses on the dresser, clothes on the floor and jump into bed getting a concussion on the porta-potty. But these are the Golden Years, right?

Nighty night!